Figuring out a guest list for your wedding can be one of the most stressful parts of preparation for the big day. Guests cost money, and venues hold only a certain amount of people. Combining any money and space issues with parental input, and the scene is set for a potentially rough situation. Make sure you give yourself and your partner plenty of time to sit down and figure out who you really want to be there, and know when you have reached your limit. 

Before you involve your families, sit down with your partner to start the guest list. Begin with your immediate families, then add those close family members you really want to have there. Dealing with extended family can be tricky, so make sure you are both on the same page of how many people you would like to invite and knowing that if all extended family is involved it can take up a large portion of your guest list. 

Next, move on to your closest friends—the ones you simply can’t imagine getting married without. They're basically family, right?  Once you have both family and friends figured out, you can move on to the not-so-fun stuff, like deciding if children will be in attendance or not.

While there is no right or wrong answer for having children attend the wedding, either way both parties need to commit to a decision. The last thing you want is a miscommunication, so make a decision on it early and make sure everyone knows the rules (most caterers consider guests under the age of 12 children). If you’re having an adults-only reception but really want to have a flower girl and ring bearer at the ceremony, you can send your favorite kids down the aisle (and even take photos with them during cocktail hour), but they should have a babysitter available to watch them for the rest of the evening. That means no little ones on the dance floor.

So what happens when you still can’t cut down your list?

While you might feel bad about taking names off the list, you and your partner need to develop parameters for cutting that won't make you feel terrible. You'll both need to reflect on which of your acquaintances are important enough to be at your wedding. Focus on people who are relevant to your life now, and who will be relevant five years from now.

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